Tech jobs are notoriously few and very competitive in small towns, which I'm sure you're finding out. I'd say go for remote work, but that's nearly impossible for early career people like yourself. I'd say that you may need to consider applying for jobs in whatever larger city is near you. I agree that, from a practical perspective, kindness is very high on the list of things that make relationships work well, most likely clearly above those other things I mentioned. I just add that these more logical or practical considerations are often not at the forefront of our relationship decision making, either in the short or long term, for either men or women. Looks, charisma, and status in a partner don provide as much of a practical benefit (unless we thinking of a link between status and money and talking about the practical benefit of money), but they make people feel things (attraction, excitement, awe, etc) and so people are still quite drawn to them.
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